ALIX of BOHEMIA

THE GYPSY TAILOR

PORN

Alix Verley Pietrafesa
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ON TUESDAY WE DECIDE, WE HAVEN'T BEEN TO WORSHIP IN A WHILE.

WE SHOULD PROBABLY GO TO REPENT FOR OUR SINS AND FEED OUR APATHETIC, CYNICAL NEW YORK SOULS. BARNEY'S HAD LEFT US FEELING SO EMPTY; THERE WAS REALLY ONLY ONE PLACE THAT COULD RESTORE OUR FAITH:

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WE STEP LIGHTLY, FOR WE KNOW WE ARE ON SACRED GROUND.

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WE GO IN SEARCH OF THE FATHER,

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WE QUIETLY CREEP PAST THE SLEEPING GYPSY

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AND AVOID EYE CONTACT WITH MAN RAY'S METRONOME.

(HYPNOSIS BEFORE LUNCH IS JUST TOO MUCH, REALLY)

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WE SAY HEY TO MIRO,

AND HI-FIVE GIACOMETTI:

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ALBERTO G. IS ONE OF OUR MAIN GUYS. HE WAS EVEN THE SUBJECT OF OUR DISSERTATION. CAN YOU BELIEVE WE EVER DID ANYTHING SO GROWN UP AS TO WRITE A DISSERTATION? NEITHER CAN WE.

ANYWAY, WE PAY OUR RESPECTS. 

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THEN THERE ARE LEGER'S LADIES. WE HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT THIS ONE. AND IT KIND OF BLOWS US AWAY. PARTICULARLY LOVE THE ARGYLL AND STRIPES ON THE FLOOR, AND THE LADIES HOVERING AROUND THE TEA. 

CASUAL NUDIE RAVEN-HAIRED BABES OVER TEA.

THIS IS THE BEST KIND OF PORNOGRAPHY.

WANNA SEE SOME MORE? OF COURSE YOU DO.

SPEAKING OF ICONIC NUDIES,

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WE TURN A CORNER AND FOUND THE GIRLS. 

PABLO P., THE ORIGINAL P-I-M-P.

THE FATHER OF US ALL.

THIS IS DEFINITELY OUR FAVOURITE ROOM.

WE'RE CLICHE LIKE THAT.

AND THEN WE SPY SOMETHING FAMILIAR:

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IT'S LISA! WEARING OUR MRS. ROBINSON JACKET IN THE PICASSO WING. WE'RE HONORED, AND MORE THAN A LITTLE HUMBLED.

THE BEST THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN IN THE PICASSO WING. 

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ON OUR MOST PERFECT DAY, WE WILL SKETCH BAREFOOT IN A GREEN DRESS AND WEAR A FLOWERCROWN WITH A PURPLE SLEEPING COMPANION. 

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SEEING ALL THE PICASSO IS KIND OF LIKE EATING TOO MUCH DESSERT. ITS OVERWHELMING, ITS TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING, ITS MAKING OUR STOMACH HURT AND WE FEEL A FRANTIC SUGAR RUSH COMING ON.

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OK, SO WE HAVE A THEORY ABOUT THE ABOVE BEING PICASSO'S EARLY VERSION OF A SELIFE. HE WAS LIKE, WAY ADVANCED FOR HIS TIME. 

AND HERE'S OUR VERSION OF A SELFIE, WHERE WE RETREAT TO THE TOILET TO PULL OURSELVES TOGETHER:

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TIME FOR SOMETHING LIGHTER. 

ENTER WARHOL, 'BEFORE AND AFTER'

GUESS WHICH PHASE WE CAN RELATE TO?

GUESS WHICH PHASE WE CAN RELATE TO?

THEN ITS TIME FOR RAUSCHENBERG!

HE'S ALWAYS GOOD FOR A LITTLE LEVITY. TAKE US TO BED, OLD BUDDY OLD TROUT! WE'D LOVE TO ROLL IN THE PAINT WITH YOU.

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'BED' WAS BORN BECAUSE OLD ROBBIE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH SHECKLES TO BUY CANVAS. LOVE IT. 

ALSO LOVE THIS:

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FRIDA!

TOTALLY FEELING YOUR FURRY BROWS, YOUR MONKEY FRIEND, AND THIS IMPOSSIBLY BEAUTIFUL MIRRORED FRAME:

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HERE'S ANOTHER THEORY. FRIDA WAS THE ORIGINAL ANNIE HALL:

WE KNOW, WE KNOW, WE SHOULD TOTALLY WRITE A BOOK ON THESE THEORIES. 

WE KNOW, WE KNOW, WE SHOULD TOTALLY WRITE A BOOK ON THESE THEORIES. 

JUST IN CASE YOU'VE NOT HAD YOUR FILL....

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AVEDON REMINDS US,

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YOU'RE IN NEW YORK, YOU BETTER GET WITH THE PROGRAM BABY. 

THAT WAS TUESDAY.